"Let me Blurb on it... Eww... I don't want to say that again" ~The Tesla

"Please kick me in the meatballs... I'm a sub!" ~The Tesla

"I'mma tongue punch some tuna" ~The Tesla

"...is that a cucumber fleshlight?" ~The Tesla

"...and now *THAT* is in my search history..." ~The Tesla

"It attacks by spitting on you?! It's like a pissed off ostrich! Or camel!" ~The Tesla

"You think we're Wendy's fancy? Fuck you, we're Arby's!" ~The Tesla

"Wait... what the flubbin' shit dicks?!" ~The Tesla

"Whenever you need help from the Nether Realm? Well, 'Nether Realm' to me is the junkular area" ~The Tesla

"...so that thing's got a vagina for a forehead, right? I'm not crazy, right?" ~The Tesla

"Oof! My boobs are so big I nearly lost my balance!" ~The Tesla

"I woke up this morning and... I didn't wash my boobs." ~The Tesla

"You think my modern day bitch boi ass could tame a beast that could best be described as a "Hound" but it's pronounced "Hoond"?!" ~The Tesla

"So I might be high but whoever realized that pizza was the best thing to reheat in the microwave is getting forty blowjobs a day in heaven" ~The Tesla

"So, we were talking about Reverse Tucking?" ~The Tesla

"I'm going to toss this vegetable lasagna's salad." ~The Tesla

"It *is* weird to hug people without boobs" ~The Tesla

"Yeah... Yeah! We showed those level 1 assholes!" ~The Tesla

"...We got Bleu, da ba dee, da ba di" ~The Tesla

"I am exactly 0% okay with *ANY OF THIS*" ~The Tesla

"Wait... Is *THAT* what exfoliation means? I always thought 'exfoliation' was code for 'masturbation'." ~The Tesla

"Oh no! Bro, your Oreos *aren't* puffed" ~The Tesla

"You don't get Basiliskâ„¢ Dick!" ~The Tesla

"Wait, I'm an adult! ...Why *haven't* I used chocolate milk for my cereal?" ~The Tesla

*dubstep ensues* "I dub that a step" ~The Tesla