"Shit, I think I'm taking tomorrow off. I think I'm coming down with a bad case of 'The Summation of my life choices'" ~The Tesla

"So you're telling me NOT to finger bang with the Monkey's Paw?" ~The Tesla

"The Shit-The-Tesla-Says channel really is just Homsar if he was able to cuss" ~The Tesla

"It's not the humidity that's made me moist, it was that performance" ~The Tesla

"That made my dry gully wet" ~The Tesla

"Like a hot dog on a roller... Like an M.C. Escher hot dog roller!" ~The Tesla

"Butt Tenting is when you have an erection coming out the butt" ~The Tesla

"I'm gushing Gushers" ~The Tesla

"'Locally Sourced Milk' is how the Smithsonian describes my junkular area" ~The Tesla

"It's like French kissing a frog while Mr. Toad watches" ~The Tesla

"I wonder if we can get Kubrick out of retirement for 2002: A Space Boogaloo" ~The Tesla

"I'mma call it 'Puff the Magic Dragon' and keep eating some fucking rocky road" ~The Tesla

"I erased all my high scores so we could get How You Remind Me...and I didn't even get my nickle back!" ~The Tesla

"It's less 'Houston, we have a problem' and more 'Huntsville, there's been an episode.'" ~The Tesla

"...and you boil your bagels with that mouth?!" ~The Tesla

"Yoshi, I'm gonna let you die, because Fuck You, I won't do what you tell me." ~The Tesla

"It's scientifically accurate! You dickweed!" ~The Tesla

"If by 'winning' you mean peanut butter farts, then yes." ~The Tesla

"What in the hell is a DkKiss--- On second thought, I don't think I want to know" ~The Tesla

"I don't want to have to start measuring this by how many Creeps I need to level... But how many Creeps do I need to level?" ~The Tesla

"I kinda like those guys, I'd be DTF - 'Down to Fight!' ...Make that 'Down to Farm!' in this case!" ~The Tesla

"So you have a supernumerary nut?" ~The Tesla

"Wait... do *I* have award winning titties?" ~The Tesla

"And the only reason I put SquareEnix in ()'s is because of a court order brought against me back in the early-'90s by Squaresoft (SquareEnix)" ~The Tesla

"I think you fail to realize just how wet water is" ~The Tesla