"I didn't pee my pants, YOU pee'd MY pants" ~The Tesla

"I don't like ham on my fucking pizza!" ~The Tesla

"My favorite color is the tears coming from the eyes of those who have displeased me. So... I guess like, forest green?" ~The Tesla

"Do you think that cats meow not just because they are trying to communicte with us; but that they are capable of altering the space-time continuum?" ~The Tesla

"I'm old as fuck and crusty as shit." ~The Tesla

"I can tell you right now that all my attempts at Jizz-wail end with restraining orders and the words 'May God have mercy upon your soul'" ~The Tesla

"Yeah, I'd stick that up my butt." ~The Tesla

"God...Freddie Got Fingered makes Deuce Bigalow look like Citizen Kane." ~The Tesla

"Ughhh, condensate all over my face please..." ~The Tesla

"Twoclops? Like ponies? Clop, clop; motherf*ckers." ~The Tesla

"I really need to adjust my bra." ~The Tesla

"It's not always butt stuff, dude. It's not always front stuff either. Sometimes it's side stuff. OK?" ~The Tesla

"Honestly, I could see that being- Fucking tits in my dick mouth areas" ~The Tesla

"Pretty sure I just rubbed a chili cheese dog on my nipples" ~The Tesla

"Dicks in my mouth and fucking biscuits" ~The Tesla

"Fucking Molassesâ„¢. Molasses that will carry your babies." ~The Tesla

"My switch has got gonorrhea" ~The Tesla

"You're no longer my daddy!" ~The Tesla

"If you sleep I will appreciate it" ~The Tesla

"I really wish I could piss out the energy of the sun" ~ The Tesla

"Right now I have his dongle." ~The Tesla

"My left nipple is the size of a pencil eraser while my right nipple is the size of a Coca-Cola bottle cap." ~The Tesla

"I'm not checking my tits out" ~The Tesla

"I did not just stroke my tit I can do that whilst in the bathroom" ~ The Tesla

"There's about a half an inch and I need to get it down my throat" ~The Tesla