"This battle has gone from 'I'm about to piss myself' to 'Well, I currently am.'" -The Tesla

"Son of a dick!" -The Tesla

"If there was a percent chub I would be at right now.......Four." -The Tesla

"Do my bresticles fit against the mic stand?" ~The Tesla

"When the doctor says 'turn your head and cough', when I do it, it sounds like an orchestra." ~The Tesla

"EGGNOG IS MY WIFE, TERRIBLE" -The Tesla

"This wood is 99% chair." -The Tesla

"I'm an asshole. I wanna be a smooth asshole....at least a semi-smooth asshole." -The Tesla

"I didn't make it to the toilet, however HOWEVER...I made it to the sink." -The Tesla

"It's not *always* butt stuff." ~The Tesla

"Sorry, I stuck some nuts in my mouth, and everything goes haywire at that point." ~The Tesla

"SHIT IN MY MOUTH!!" ~The Tesla

"Ok, that's the one. Dicks in my mouth." ~The Tesla

*To the tune of McDonald's* "Ba da bup bup baaa...I'm urinating." ~The Tesla

"I think the cat just farted in my mouth" ~The Tesla

"Holy Andy Warhol, what in the fuck is going on in here?!" ~The Tesla

"That tasted like someone took a banana, shoved the banana into a barrel of salt... Then threw the banana away and spit in your mouth" ~The Tesla

"I buttchugged banana pepper juice, and now my mom doesn't consider me kosher." ~The Tesla

"Broken zigs, just like my teeth! Bah duh dah duh~ Terrible dental hygiene" - The Tesla

"Fucking balls in my mouth... I mean, good song" ~ The Tesla

"I'm 100% jealous of her molars" ~The Tesla

"Owww... I think I just flexed my eyeballs" ~The Tesla

"I go from sharp to flat. It's like my chest; my nipples are sharp, my chest is flat" ~The Tesla

"That was an inch of flat... spit. Ok, let's play Anus!" ~The Tesla

"I actually have a 17-inch taint." ~The Tesla