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TheSagan - 4-10-2020 at 07:00 AM
Welcome to the "Shit The Tesla Says" thread! This is where we archive odd bits of wisdom said by our own TheTesla. Drunk or
Sober, it'll be interesting!
TheSagan - 4-10-2020 at 07:18 AM
"When I say I want to fuck The Beatles, let me clarify. I don't want to fornicate with an insect beetle, like a stag beetle, I mean I want to fuck
Ringo Starr." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 4-10-2020 at 07:19 AM
"Don't get me wrong. Actually, get me wrong: Fuck you guys." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 4-10-2020 at 07:25 AM
"I'M THE POTATO!!" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 4-17-2020 at 01:26 AM
Piranha Plants. They go "Chomp. Chomp. Chomp." and "*Baby!*" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 4-22-2020 at 12:14 AM
"Ghost Town stream. That'd probably be the most mellow stream we've ever done... unless we all got into it, like 'Oh! I found the town! NO, you're at
the wrong intersection. YOUR MOM'S THE WRONG INTERSECTION!" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 4-22-2020 at 01:08 AM
"Is there a song list? Yes. *hits "peebs" button* It's called Peebs. Er.. !songlist" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 4-23-2020 at 06:15 PM
"Alabama is known for it's big, snowy mountains. Right?"
TheTesla - 4-24-2020 at 11:34 PM
"Sorry, I wasn't trying to be an asshole; I was trying to belch in the middle of that."
TheTesla - 4-25-2020 at 11:18 PM
"Take care of your kids, teeth" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 4-28-2020 at 05:22 AM
"Trim off the fat, like I trimed off my dick. Oooooh!" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 4-28-2020 at 08:07 PM
"If it's called a 'pie hole', then how can you eat a sandwich with it?" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 5-5-2020 at 12:54 AM
*cracks a can of V8, sips* "Mmm... it's warm, savory, and I'm pretty sure it has mold in it." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-12-2020 at 03:24 AM
"Oh... I drizzled tuna juice all over myself, didn't I?" ~ The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-16-2020 at 08:53 PM
"My ear holes enjoy being fornicated by their sound." - The Tesla
TheSagan - 5-18-2020 at 11:21 PM
"Oooh. Time for some good bondage." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-19-2020 at 08:14 PM
"Did somebody just follow us while I was tucking?" - The Tesla
TheSagan - 7-17-2020 at 12:13 AM
"If I can't use the phrase 'Your nipples are yawning', then consider me *uninterested*" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 9-22-2020 at 03:06 AM
"Apparently I wipe vigorously." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 10-10-2020 at 08:33 PM
"I'm gonna go balls deep on this mic." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 10-17-2020 at 09:07 PM
"Literally no shame, I can tell you the person that should feel ashamed is the one that's trying to like, tongue-fuck a sock. And that's me. I don't
feel shame about that, neither should you." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 10-18-2020 at 12:11 AM
"Burnt Fucking" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 11-3-2020 at 09:38 PM
"Especially with how bad my teeth are, I can't just scrape the fucking corn off that. I've gotta shove that whole disc in my mouth and fucking
tonguefuck it." ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-18-2020 at 02:46 AM
"Gosh, look at those nipples!!!" -The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-18-2020 at 02:47 AM
"I will eat somebody's face." -The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-18-2020 at 02:49 AM
"This battle has gone from 'I'm about to piss myself' to 'Well, I currently am.'" -The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-18-2020 at 02:50 AM
"Son of a dick!" -The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-18-2020 at 03:01 AM
"If there was a percent chub I would be at right now.......Four." -The Tesla
TheSagan - 12-18-2020 at 08:44 PM
"Do my bresticles fit against the mic stand?" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 12-18-2020 at 08:45 PM
"When the doctor says 'turn your head and cough', when I do it, it sounds like an orchestra." ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-18-2020 at 11:38 PM
"EGGNOG IS MY WIFE, TERRIBLE" -The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-22-2020 at 11:01 PM
"This wood is 99% chair." -The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-28-2020 at 12:24 AM
"I'm an asshole. I wanna be a smooth asshole....at least a semi-smooth asshole." -The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 12-29-2020 at 09:50 PM
"I didn't make it to the toilet, however HOWEVER...I made it to the sink." -The Tesla
TheSagan - 1-2-2021 at 11:25 PM
"It's not *always* butt stuff." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 1-6-2021 at 12:18 AM
"Sorry, I stuck some nuts in my mouth, and everything goes haywire at that point." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 1-8-2021 at 10:05 PM
"SHIT IN MY MOUTH!!" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 1-19-2021 at 11:58 PM
"Ok, that's the one. Dicks in my mouth." ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 2-7-2021 at 12:29 AM
*To the tune of McDonald's* "Ba da bup bup baaa...I'm urinating." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 2-16-2021 at 08:46 PM
"I think the cat just farted in my mouth" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 3-4-2021 at 12:47 AM
"Holy Andy Warhol, what in the fuck is going on in here?!" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 3-24-2021 at 09:18 PM
"That tasted like someone took a banana, shoved the banana into a barrel of salt... Then threw the banana away and spit in your mouth" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 3-25-2021 at 10:53 PM
"I buttchugged banana pepper juice, and now my mom doesn't consider me kosher." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 4-16-2021 at 11:02 PM
"Broken zigs, just like my teeth! Bah duh dah duh~ Terrible dental hygiene" - The Tesla
TheTesla - 4-16-2021 at 11:08 PM
"Fucking balls in my mouth... I mean, good song" ~ The Tesla
TheTesla - 4-18-2021 at 12:24 AM
"I'm 100% jealous of her molars" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 4-20-2021 at 07:28 PM
"Owww... I think I just flexed my eyeballs" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-4-2021 at 08:48 PM
"I go from sharp to flat. It's like my chest; my nipples are sharp, my chest is flat" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 5-8-2021 at 08:28 PM
"That was an inch of flat... spit. Ok, let's play Anus!" ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 5-11-2021 at 08:11 PM
"I actually have a 17-inch taint." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 5-20-2021 at 01:48 AM
"I didn't pee my pants, YOU pee'd MY pants" ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 6-8-2021 at 11:00 PM
"I don't like ham on my fucking pizza!" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 6-9-2021 at 11:41 PM
"My favorite color is the tears coming from the eyes of those who have displeased me. So... I guess like, forest green?" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 6-10-2021 at 07:27 PM
"Do you think that cats meow not just because they are trying to communicte with us; but that they are capable of altering the space-time continuum?"
~The Tesla
TheSagan - 7-3-2021 at 08:39 PM
"I'm old as fuck and crusty as shit." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 7-10-2021 at 03:14 AM
"I can tell you right now that all my attempts at Jizz-wail end with restraining orders and the words 'May God have mercy upon your soul'" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 7-15-2021 at 12:01 AM
"Yeah, I'd stick that up my butt." ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 7-29-2021 at 08:03 PM
"God...Freddie Got Fingered makes Deuce Bigalow look like Citizen Kane." ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 8-7-2021 at 06:48 PM
"Ughhh, condensate all over my face please..." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 9-5-2021 at 09:05 PM
"Twoclops? Like ponies? Clop, clop; motherf*ckers." ~The Tesla
CojiroDaBlue - 9-25-2021 at 10:37 PM
"I really need to adjust my bra." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 10-1-2021 at 10:38 PM
"It's not always butt stuff, dude. It's not always front stuff either. Sometimes it's side stuff. OK?" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 10-29-2021 at 11:30 PM
"Honestly, I could see that being- Fucking tits in my dick mouth areas" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 11-26-2021 at 09:17 PM
"Pretty sure I just rubbed a chili cheese dog on my nipples" ~The Tesla
thyhappylittletree - 12-25-2021 at 12:24 AM
"Dicks in my mouth and fucking biscuits" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 12-31-2021 at 08:21 PM
"Fucking Molasses™. Molasses that will carry your babies." ~The Tesla
thyhappylittletree - 1-11-2022 at 08:36 PM
"My switch has got gonorrhea" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 2-5-2022 at 08:10 PM
"You're no longer my daddy!" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 2-5-2022 at 08:27 PM
"If you sleep I will appreciate it" ~The Tesla
thyhappylittletree - 2-27-2022 at 09:38 PM
"I really wish I could piss out the energy of the sun" ~ The Tesla
TheSagan - 4-24-2022 at 07:39 PM
"Right now I have his dongle." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-14-2022 at 09:05 PM
"My left nipple is the size of a pencil eraser while my right nipple is the size of a Coca-Cola bottle cap." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-15-2022 at 08:14 PM
"I'm not checking my tits out" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-22-2022 at 09:12 PM
"I did not just stroke my tit I can do that whilst in the bathroom" ~ The Tesla
TheSagan - 5-23-2022 at 11:41 AM
"There's about a half an inch and I need to get it down my throat" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-28-2022 at 07:53 PM
"Rook groppy. Rook groppy? It's 'Rock groupie'." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-28-2022 at 08:18 PM
"I'm touching my boob and it feels interesting." ~The Tesla
thyhappylittletree - 5-28-2022 at 09:21 PM
"I'm gonna reach up my skirt real quick" ~ The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-29-2022 at 11:28 PM
"Are you asking me to give a battery a blowjob? 'Cuz I'll do it." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-29-2022 at 11:28 PM
"I'll stick those double A's between my double D's." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 5-31-2022 at 07:42 PM
"I'm pretty sure my uvula just orgasmed." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 6-28-2022 at 07:22 PM
"I gotta learn how to play with boobs again..." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 7-6-2022 at 08:25 PM
"Ugh, this beer is illegally warm." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 7-20-2022 at 09:29 PM
"If I go to New York and don't see explosive barrels in the middle of the fucking zoo, I'm going to sue!" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 8-6-2022 at 08:52 PM
"I wish I had a dick beard." ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 8-12-2022 at 08:42 PM
"Into a place where Thauts can bloom~" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 8-19-2022 at 07:53 PM
"Little avocado Teslas running around because I would stick my d*** in an avocado BLT" ~The tesla
thyhappylittletree - 9-3-2022 at 08:41 PM
"Long story short, the Tesla would fuck the smell of coffee" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 9-27-2022 at 08:02 PM
"Oh god, that's gonna be- Well I guess every time I see Slipknot I think 'This could be a little chugga chugga. And this could be a little widdly
widdly'" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 10-31-2022 at 04:16 AM
"I just punched the microphone with my boob. Yay. That makes me a real girl now." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 10-31-2022 at 04:45 AM
"By the way, Internet. I'm adorable as FUCK right now." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 11-18-2022 at 10:17 PM
"shits and dicks and titty tit tits!" ~The Tesla
TheTesla - 12-3-2022 at 09:36 PM
"Not to brag or anything, but you are speaking to someone who has boofed an ice cube more than once" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 2-9-2023 at 10:58 PM
"Impossible! How can you hit notes? You can't hit notes!" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 3-16-2023 at 05:19 AM
"Suddenly I REALLY want a coffee mug that says 'Don't bother me until I've fondled a can of tuna with my tongular areas'" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 12-25-2023 at 03:22 PM
"God, the turd salads that come out of my mouth." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 3-6-2024 at 10:35 PM
"Let's make sure we're actually leveling up, and I'm not just dicking around with my dick in my dick." ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 7-10-2024 at 11:07 PM
"I'm about to go Anakin on this Padawan" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 9-18-2024 at 11:12 PM
"Have you ever rubbed peanut butter on the inside of your nipples so that they'll yawn more?" ~The Tesla
TheSagan - 9-28-2024 at 06:27 PM
"My boob just went flying in my shirt." ~The Tesla
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